This Time
Summary:Obi-Wan thought that he and Anakin had formed a bond that would last forever. He had no idea how wrong he was until he stood on the Mustafaran gravel staring the sith in the eyes.
Disclaimer: No. I don’t if you where wondering.
Follow-Up To “I HATE YOU” Could be read alone but the two flashbacks in the middle would be a bit confusing
Obi-Wan Kenobi wanted to cry.
He wanted to scream. He wanted to curl up into a ball and just cry. He wanted to force push himself into a wall. He wanted to breathe
He wanted to vomit. He wanted to open his eyes and realize this was all just a horrible nightmare.
Of Course all of this was absolutely inappropriate for a Jedi of his status……not that it even mattered anymore.
Quite a bit of gravel slipped from underneath his foot. He took a step back, regained his posture and bluntly de-activated his lightsaber. He took a deep breath but choked on it as dry, humid air filled his lungs instead of the sweet comforting air he was expecting.
He was torn out of his thoughts by a low growl coming from the steep ground below him.
He looked down and immediately wished he hadn’t.
There lay the form of Anakin Skywalker, on the gravel, flat on his chest. Except Anakin didn’t look like Obi-Wan was used to seeing him.
No
Obi-Wan suddenly decided
No this is……this is not Anakin Skywalker that lies before me……..It is Darth Vader.
What probably made it the clearest was the sith’s lack of limbs.
That is unless you counted the prosthetic right arm that was clawing up at the gravel.
Obi-Wan never did consider it as a real limb. He thought it looked too dark to replace a human limb made by the force. And today he realized…..yes yes it was far to dark.
Today that dark mechanical thing was clawing at the gravel underneath it, trying desperately to get out of the reaches of the river of lava behind him. And considering he was on a steep incline, all Vader was really doing was hurling the gravel downward, constantly into his face. His face contorted with pain and discomfort as he tried to move his (now) non-existent left arm to help his efforts.
The sight made Obi-Wan want to cry.
But he choked back his tears. He couldn’t believe that the prophecy had gone so wrong. He couldn’t believe it for one second.
“YOU WHERE THE CHOSEN ONE!”
His voice hoarse and shaking. His brows furrowed. The dry, burning wind continued to blow in his hair.
His finger strayed upward and pointed solemnly at the man in front of him for a spilt second……then faltered.
“IT WAS SAID THAT YOU WOULD DESTROY THE SITH, NOT JOIN THEM!”
Obi-Wan looked his former padawan in the eyes.
He wanted to curl up into a ball and cry.
Vader’s eyes where bloodshot. The amber barely showed through how red they where. His brows knitted together in pain.
And for a spilt second. For one blissful second Obi-Wan saw remorse. He saw pain. He saw his padawan, his brother, his son, pleading him to save him.
He saw Anakin Skywalker. He wanted give comfort to his brother……but his words betrayed him.
“BRING BALANCE TO THE FORCE, NOT LEAVE IT IN DARKNESS!”
NO!
Obi-Wan wanted to force push himself into a wall. He knew those words would definitely push his brother over the edge. He wished so badly that he could go back 3 seconds and take those words back. He looked away, he could still fix this.
There was time. He knew there was time.
Obi-Wan knew he would help the young man. He would help him up.
But first he would retrieve his weapon. His life. He turned around and walked a bit further up. He bent down to where Anakin’s lightsaber had fell and picked it up.
He would give him back his saber….his life and help him. He would not help sever their bond any further. But as soon as he picked up the saber he realized something.
What if he thought I was leaving? Leaving him? Leaving him to burn?
Obi-Wan quickly pivoted and turned back to face his former padawan. But as soon as he did, three words where screamed at him. Three words that he would never forget:
“I HATE YOU!”
And for a moment Obi-Wan felt as though he had been suspended from time. He felt as though he was floating in mid-air. He heard nothing. He felt nothing, and he saw nothing but Anakin. Anakin and his words. Anakin, his words and the power in it.
There was so much power in his voice that it felt as though someone has punched him. Punched him right in the stomach and knocked the wind right out of him. And then he remembered.
“And where have you been all night padawan mine?”
“Me and a couple of the other padawan went out to the club”
“It’s 3:30 am ok 3:30 I’m late I know would you just save me the lecture and let me go?!”
“I’m 18 Obi-Wan! I can come home whenever I want to!”
“Tell me like I’m your equal and maybe I’ll consider it”
“I’m acting perfectly reasonable right now.”
“YOU CAN’T KRIFFING DO THIS TO ME OBI-WAN!”
“YOU…..” he growled through clenched teeth
-
“I HATE YOU!”
Obi-Wan wanted to breathe. He really did but for some force forsaken reason his brain was far too much in denial and shock to comprehend.
He never thought it would have to come to this again. He thought that rift had been closed. He thought they had learned from going down that road once. He thought.
He thought he had given his brother everything he could to keep him from this taking this path again. And he said the only thing that his mind seemed to get through at the moment.
“You Where My Brother Anakin……”
Suddenly Obi-Wan felt so drained….so tired.
“I Loved You.”
His voice faltered on the last word, and he choked on his tears.
And just when he thought things couldn’t get any worse…..Anakin….no Darth Vader……..yes….Darth Vader slipped back a bit too far. And the stumps that where once his legs caught fire. They blazed with molten red lava.
If possible Vader’s eyes reddened even more. And Obi-Wan wanted to see his brother again but all he saw made him sick. His padawan, his brother, his son, his child, the only one he had ever cared for as much as he did Qui-Gon……..was dying. And he was allowing it.
Obi-Wan wanted to vomit.
The reality of what he was doing made him want to double over and throw up.
“I hope you can forgive me”
“Already have”
The memory made Obi-Wan want to throw up more.
Because he knew……this time…….there was now forgiving him.
Obi-Wan tried to inhale deeply to calm himself. But once again forgot what Mustafaran air was like. And inhaling sparks of fiery lava only worsened his condition.
Obi-Wan wanted to open his eyes and realize this was all just a horrible nightmare.
H really did. He wanted nothing more than to just leave this terrible place. He felt tired, sick, exhausted, and empty.
He felt truly empty. Empty in that gaping hole that his brother left in his heart……no…….no his brother hadn’t left that hole. His brother had left a hole 5 years ago in their quarters. This hole was not made by his brother. No. His brother was dead. This painful empty hole was left by Darth Vader.
Obi-Wan looked up one last time at the man who had killed his brother. The hateful look he got in return propelled him to turn and walk slowly away.
This was it.
This time there was no more to be said or done
This time it was the end.
~fin
Mon Mar 09, 2009 5:08 am
