Star Wars: Rock Legends (TF.N Re-Post)

Title: Star Wars: Rock Legends (AU)
Author: Shock Trooper
Genre: Humor
Characters; Darth Vader (he's still alive), Luke Skywalker, Han Solo, Lando Calrissian
Summary: Much craziness ensues when SW characters decide to become Rock legends.
Author's Notes: I got this really crazy idea an hour ago and decided to start writing it out.
Disclaimer: I do not own the rights to the characters or the game itself; I am the player/writer, not the owner.

Random Building Lobby:

Luke Skywalker sat in a chair in the lobby, reading a magazine and waiting for his buddies to show up. Han and Lando were late as usual; probably on some smuggling run. As he continued reading the magazine, he could hear the rasps of a mechanical breather; looking over the cusp of his magazine, he could see Darth Vader sit down in a chair across the way from him. Pulling the magazine down, Luke said "Darth?" What are you doing here?"

Vader shrugged. "No idea," he said, slumping back into the chair.

Luke, his eyebrows raised, continued reading the magazine. It was getting boring; he had been waiting for over an hour, and he had already finished reading half the magazines in the lobby. Half of the decent ones, anyway; he didn't dare touch Sith Weekly or Empire Today, Tomorrow and The Next Day!. A Jedi-in-training would never read such material, but the wait was getting too long. At present, he was reading a fishing magazine; of course, Luke did not like fishing. However, when you are bored, you do some things to pass the time that you would never do otherwise. Vader, still trying to get comfortable in his chair, was looking at the Sith Weekly magazine; from his quiet chuckles, Luke guessed that he was reading comics. As he pondered this thought, he could hear the door at the front of the lobby; in walked Han and Lando. AS they made their way over to where Vader was happily reading his magazine, Luke got up and said sarcastically "You guys are late!"

"Sorry, Junior, Lando and I had. . . some business to attend to."

"Betting your ship again, Han?" asked Luke, rolling his eyes as he spoke.

"The other guy was offering a space corvette; one with surround sound and little space bubble to keep the air in."

"It also had 10 cupholders," added Lando, giving Luke a fiendish grin.

"Is 10 cupholders really worth your ship, Han?" asked Luke.

"Hey, kid, you can have multiple drinks stored at the same time," said Han defensively. "That means you can go to several places and get drinks that will last longer."

"Cupholders?" asked Luke cynically.

"Hey, I'm trying to read here! And I can't do that when you're talking so loud!" said Vader, turning his head around to face the three.

Lando pointed. "Darth Vader?! What's he doing here?? If it's something against me, I didn't do it!"

Before Han could respond, the lobby secretary said "You are allowed to go in now."

"Uh. . .thanks," replied Luke. "Let's go."

As the three made their way to the door, they passed Vader, who was vainly trying to get out of his chair. "Mfgghh. . . ghfff. . ." Vader groaned as he tried to stand up, but the chair had him down. Finally, with one mighty push, Vader got out of the chair; however, his foot had not found stable footing, and he crashed to the ground violently. "I'll catch up with you quickly!" he said, trying to get off the floor. Luke shrugged as they entered the next room.

Back Hallway

After several minutes of winding passageways, the three had made it into a dark corridor. It wasn't just dark; it was inky black, the only light coming from a small bulb located above a door with a placard on it. Reaching the placard, Luke strained to make out the letters, but he couldn't quite tell; the letters were written very lightly, and in the blackness of the ahllway, there wasn't enough light for him to read with. Jiggling the knob on the door, Luke said "It's open!" Entering, he could see nothing. "Where is the stuff?" he asked, wondering where the promised materials had disappeared to.

"Why, they set us up!" said Han angrily.

"Maybe there's something more. . ." offered Lando.

"Oh, that's real helpful," responded Han.

A loud click and breathing sound behind them signified Vader entering the room. "Hey guys, what's up?" he asked.

"Vader, this is for us to see, not you," said Lando.

"No, I was invited too," said Vader.

"Luke, you didn't let him come, did you?"

"No, he just appeared in the lobby and followed us here," replied Luke. "I had nothing to do with it."

"Where's the power source in here?" said Vader, his mechanical fingers fumbling for a power switch to turn on. Finally, he clasped one and flipped it on. Suddenly, the area was light; in the middle, there was a large television, a plastic drum set, two plastic guitars and a small microphone. On the screen, it said "Rock Band".

"Are you kidding me?" asked Luke. "This is what they're giving us?"

"Ooh. . ." said Lando excitedly. "I've always wanted to play this game. Dibs on microphone!"

"OK, whatever you say," said Han, giving Luke an odd look. "Well, I guess we should play, kid."

"Dibs on bass!" said Vader, picking up one of the guitar controllers.

"I guess I'll do guitar," said Luke, leaving Han standing by the doorway as he grabbed the other guitar controller.

"This should be easy," said Vader as he tried to put the neck strap on. Luke slid his on, but had to watch as Vader struggled to fit it over himself. First, the Dark Lord got tangled in the strap, and then it got twisted, so he had to untangle it before trying it again. Han had settled down on the drummer's seat, holding the wooden drumsticks loosely.

"Kid, how do we play this thing?" he asked

"I've always dreamed of being a rock legend!" said Lando, his eyes wide as he stared at the microphone in his hands.

"Tutorial?" offered Luke.

"I hate waiting," said Han disgustedly. "Let's play first off."

Luke pressed the button on the controller, and the screen change to the band formation screen. Pressing the button again, Luke became the band leader, folowed by Lando, Vader and, finally, Han.

"What song should we play?" asked Luke.

"Anything, as long as it's got a cool bass line," said Vader, playing with the controller.

"Just choose one at random," said Han. Luke moved the cursor over "Random Song" and pressed the button.

"Here we go. . ." said Han.

Hahaha yes! Awesome!

"It also had 10 cupholders," added Lando, giving Luke a fiendish grin.

That was hilarious, I can't wait for more. Keep up the great work!

Thanks for the input, snowspeeder.

If someone doesn't know, I wrote this story on TF.N a couple months ago, and am re-posting it here.

Hey! I remember this story! I got about half way through this first chapter before I was distracted, and never finished it... Well I've gotten further this time!

Excellent start, Matt! Can't wait for more!

In the upper left corner of the screen, the song was "Say it Ain't So" by Weezer. "This should be easy," said Luke confidently as the first note rolled by; he nailed the note, and said "I got it!"

"Great kid," said Han. "Don't get cocky!"

Vader's line started filling with notes, and from the sounds of it, he was hitting buttons. A growl signified that he missed a note, but that was not important. Lando started his singing part, and Han finally had a solid drum part going. Luke nailed the elongated notes, making sure that he kept the flipper down to extend the note. Vader was having problems; he could not hit a few of the notes, so he stopped for a moment to catch his bearings before starting up again.

Say it Ain't So! sang Lando, grinning as he sang the lyrics at the top.

"This is great, kid," said Han as he continued pounding out the notes to the song. It was the chorus line, so Luke wanted to make sure that he hit every single note. Being on medium, it was an easy task; he only needed to use four keys out of the five on the controller. I should try hard next time, he thought as he played, hitting all of the notes that he saw. Vader, on the other hand, was hitting some of the notes, but the others were slipping by; he was obviously not used to the five-button configuration.

It was finally time for Luke's solo; his line turned blue, and he raised his guitar controller, sending him into Overdrive. As he nailed the notes, the crowd was in a frenzy, loving everything about their performance. Nailing all of the notes in the solo, Luke gave the group a "Perfect Solo" bonus, worth 2,600 points. "I got all of the notes!" he exclaimed.

"Good," said Lando, holding the microphone up to his mouth again.

"I've got a bad feeling; like I missed a few notes somehwere," said Han, still whacking out the beat on the drums. Yellow, yellow, yellow, yellow/red. Luke looked over at Vader; the Sith Lord was moving his fingers on the controller, but was showing signs of frustration. Watching the television again, Luke hit the final notes of the song, a combined red/green sustained note, making sure to hit the whammy bar to get a customized sound. When the song was over, the corwd on the game cheered mightily, and the characters on stage pumped up the already-frenzied crowd. "We did it!" said Lando, holding up the microphone.

"Let's see the percentage," said Han.

When the percentages were displayed on the screen, Luke discovered that he had hit 98% of the notes. Lando hit 87%, and Han had 82%. Vader, on the other hand, had 57%. He, in frustration, used the Force to lift the TV. "Dude, don't destroy the TV!" said Han. Vader, realizing what he was doing, put down the TV. "What level were you playing?" asked Luke.

"Easy," said Vader.

"What?" asked Lando. "I would expect that on Hard, but not on Easy."

"Let's play another song, kid," said Han. "I'm settled in now."

Luke hit the button and selected another random song to play, deciding to play on medium again.

Gah! I'm late!

at Vader stuffing up completely! I've never played Guitar Hero, is it hard?

Maybe he'll get the hang of it?

Can't wait for more!

It's actually "Rock Band", and it's not that hard when you get the hang of it.

Next up: Rockaway Beach by the Ramones

As soon as the first few notes went by, Luke realized that the group was in for a tough song. Han was already starting to slip; Yellow, yellow/red, yellow while stomping on the foot pedal. From the sounds of it, Vader was at least hitting the buttons; also, he had bumped up to Medium. Wow, this is difficult, thought Luke as he nailed another couple notes.

"Kid, I'm lagging a little here," warned Han.

Luke looked at the crowd energy meter; the drum icon was dipping below the halfway mark. He jerked the guitar controller up, sending him into Overdrive.

"Thanks, kid," said Han, the icon moving back up the meter. "I guess I owe you one."

Rockaway Beach . . . sang Lando, his eyes somewhat closed as he belted out the sounds.

"This is fun," said Vader, hitting another note. "I finally have a 3x multiplier going!"

"Lucky . . ." muttered Han as he struggled to hit all of the notes. Being only his second song, Luke wasn't worried about Han; he was stil getting used to playing the drums. Playing guitar was much easier for him, since the rythyms were much more simple. Green, green, green/red, blue/orange. Now Han had it, if not just for the phrase. Plucking a combo note, Luke watched Vader out of the corner of his eye; the Sith Lord was obviously having fun playing the bass part. Somehow, the first song had been an abnormality, a warm-up. Of course, they had not gone through a tutorial, so it was very likely that they would have to get used to the game before they could do really well on it. Duh, Luke thought as he hit another note. Medium was easy for him; he would graduate to Hard on the next song.

"I think we're almost done," said Han, still whacking on the drums.

"Almost," replied Luke.

"Ooh, I've got a Bass Groove!" said Vader, excited by his performance. His line was blue, and his multiplier was already at 5. As it hit 6x, Vader raised his controller, sending himself into Overdrive. Suddenly, the multiplier jumped to 12x, making 8x look paltry in comparison.

"Are you kidding me?" asked Han when he saw Vader's multiplier.

"This rocks!" said Vader, nailing more notes.

"Done," said Lando, holding the microphone down. A moment later, the song ended, and the crowd, as it had been before, was in a frenzy.

"Percentage?" asked Han.

"I'm on Hard next time," said Luke, looking at the percentages.

Guitar: 98%
Drums: 76%
Microphone: 93%
Bass: 90%

"I got 90 percent!" screamed Vader, raising his fists into the air.

"Another song," said Lando.

Oh noes! The empire is taking over the percentages!

Excellent post, Matt.

I'll get back to re-posting my story here eventually.

Aw. And here I was, thinking there was an update....

Here's the update.

Next Song: Dirty Little Secret By All-American Rejects

As the song started, Luke realized that it was going to be just about as difficult as the last song had been. Red/yellow, blue, red/yellow, blue, green his line went, and after the first phrase, Han joined in on drums. In the next phrase, Vader was added, hitting a string of fast red notes. Lando, waiting for the singing part, started bobbing up and down a little, clearly liking the beat of the music. Let me know what I done wrong, he started singing, his eyes wide open and a sly smirk on his face.

"I've got a 4x multiplier!" said Luke, not overly suprised by what he had done.

"Kid, I've got a 4x also," said Han, "and . . . now it's gone."

"He he he," said Vader.

"What?" asked Luke

"I've got a 6x, boys," he said.

"Not again," said Lando before having to continue singing.

"What? I'm extremely talented," said Vader.

"No, Vader. It's the 6x multiplier thing," chipped in Luke.

"Hey, you didn't call bass before I did, so you don't get the cool 6x multiplier," said Vader defiantly. "I got it before you did, but you had a lot of time to call it."

"That's not the point . . ." said Luke, hitting another note.

"Now, you see? I'm doing well," said Vader.

"Uh . . . you have a string of the same notes, Vader," interjected Han.

"So?" asked Vader. "I still get credit."

"You have the same pattern over and over again," said Han. Looking at Lando, Han could see that his pal was still singing and was oblivious to the argument.

"Well, I have different patterns," said Luke.

"I have a string of notes to play," offered Vader.

"They're all the same."

"Prove it," said Vader. "You're just jealous at my talent."

"Ooh . . . he one-upped you, Luke," said Han. "How you going to respond?"

"By doing this," said Luke, raising his guitar and going into Overdrive. "Ha!" he said. "8x multiplier!"

"Yawn," said Vader, raising his guitar. Luke looked at the screen; Vader had a 12x multiplier.

"What?!" said Luke. "But . . . how?"

"Bass rules," said Vader, hitting another string of red notes.

"I only get 8 times," said Luke, disappointed by his instruments' unimportance in the realm of multipliers.

I will keep you my Dirty Little Secret . . . sang Lando, almost hitting the actual singing pitch; pretty good for only his third song.

"Solo," said Luke.

"What, kid?" asked Han.

"Solo," repeated Luke.

"What?!" said Han, annoyed.

"Solo!" said Luke again, pointing to the screen.

"You're asking for it!" shouted Han.

"NO!" said Luke. "I HAVE A SOLO!"

"Geez, you should have said that earlier," muttered Han as he continued playing the drums.

"Almost there," commented Lando.

"I'm done," said Han.

"Done," said Vader, letting up on his sustained note.

Luke let go of his note a moment later as the song ended.

"Percentage?" asked Lando.

"Good," said Vader smugly.

Guitar: 95%
Drums: 86%
Microphone: 94%
Bass: 94%

"I got 94 percent!" shouted Vader. "See; bass is good."

"Still beat you," commented Luke, pointing to the screen.

"So? I did better than any other bass player on this song."

"Vader, you're the ONLY bass player," said Han sarcastically.

"What?" asked Vader. "No back-up bass players?"

"OK, I think it's time to move on to another song," said Lando, trying to mediate the conflict.

Lols! Go Vader! Hit them red notes!

Great update!

I wonder how the SW characters would go playing Dance Dance Revolution....